Change and inner transformation often involves wanting to be free of certain habits, emotions, beliefs and limitations. Who wouldn't want to just suddenly be free of all conflict, pain, emotional issues and deep beliefs...?
So most of us set forth on a journey, and we try to change. We try all sorts of tools, and new techniques, we read all sorts of books, see a Counsellor or Coach and hope it will be finally bringing the freedom we seek.
There is only one issue, we do not look at the "I" that wants to overcome all of these issues. We keep digging, and pushing and overcoming and letting go of this and that...
There is the idea if we personally put in the effort and "do it all", we will finally get rid of this issue, even though we may have already seen three different Coaches or Therapists.
We underestimate that freedom is not the freedom of a particular state, it is freedom of preference. Freedom of preference means being with our experience in an open way.
On a certain level change is not about doing, it is an undoing. It is about letting things unfold and allowing space for what is important in your life in this moment. It is about allowing and being with the exploration and discovery of your own process.
When you find yourself immersed in pushing away your experience or getting rid of a certain emotion, leave yourself some space and let yourself be with yourself. In those moments, give yourself the open compassionate space that you are at a deeper level.
In our effort to push away what is going on for us internally, we often get ourselvses into more inner struggle. This attitude of rejection hurts us and will only perpetuate our internal suffering rather than helping us to become more free.